Usually I write these Kenzai Pulse articles to share with everyone the things I’ve learned over the years of coaching clients through the ups and downs of nutrition, fitness, and mental well-being. But sometimes I end up writing these articles for myself, because I’m the one struggling with the issue at hand. This is definitely one of those weeks!
As I write this Russia is invading a sovereign country in a land war that looks like something out of the 1940s. This is fairly insane to see happen in the year 2022. But because it is 2022 every single person in Ukraine has an internet-enabled hi-definition camera in their pocket, and there is a constant stream of photos and video streaming out to the world, where we can pick apart and debate on forums and posts 24 hours a day.
We usually think of the brain being rewarded by nice, positive things. You eat some ice cream, or snuggle with a kitten, or finish a 5k run and your brain gives you some feel-good chemicals for doing a good job at life. But the brain isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. It will reward you not just for good things, but any stimulation at all. This includes stimulation like fear, anger, morbid curiosity, and the simple excitement of something happening that’s never happened before.
A live-streamed war is a powerful stimulant. You’re shocked by the violence. You’re moved by the plight of civilians and soldiers fighting for freedom. You’re pissed off at tinpot dictators causing all this mayhem. The brain takes all this information in, and senses that whatever is going on, it must be important. It blasts your bloodstream with adrenaline and cortisol, which, as dark as it is to say, feels kind of good. The internet has come up with a good term to describe this unhealthy habit -— doomscrolling.
Perhaps 30 years ago, you’d be feeling all these things, but then would get to the end of the TV news report, or finish reading the column in the newspaper, and, for lack of a better word, run out of stimulant. You’d move on with your day. Not so with websites with never-ending scroll, constantly updated with blow by blow details of the war, shot by people on the ground.
This afternoon I watched the live video feed of a firefight at a nuclear power plant for 2 hours. Even though I was doing other things on my computer during that time, I had the window open in the corner. It was a steady drip of fear and nervous energy for the whole afternoon. I couldn’t pull myself away. During those hours, in another window I got in an online disagreement with someone about the relative merits of a thorium nuclear reactor design in case of bombardment. In yet another window I was monitoring radiation levels and the twitter feed of the IAE. So much activity, so much mental energy expended!
But this busy afternoon there were some things I didn’t do. I didn’t have an afternoon cup of tea with my wife. I didn’t help my daughter with her homework when she got back from school. I didn’t practice guitar like I had wanted to. I didn’t do the run I had planned, and had to squeeze it in after the sunset in the cold. In fact, nothing particularly useful happened at all this afternoon. Being glued to that video feed didn’t make a difference here at home, and I sure as hell didn’t make a difference to those poor souls in Ukraine.
It’s easy to tell yourself that doomscrolling is ok because it means you care. You want to be an informed citizen and keep up with current events. You want to witness history and learn from it where you can. But all of these goals can be done with 30 minutes of news digestion a day. I realize that spending hours and hours keeping up with the latest developments is much more about me and my needs than the people in the middle of the story. It’s a kind of selfishness that I don’t want to have in my life.
I doomscrolled like crazy through the first months of the Covid pandemic. I learned everything I could about that stupid little spiky RNA jerk. What did it help? I would have been better off focusing on taking care of myself, my work, and my family. I’m looking to not repeat that mistake with the Russian invasion.
This doesn’t mean I don’t care. In fact, I bet I’ll be better able to help where and when I can when I’m not burned out and stressed from following every ebb and flow of the conflict from halfway across the world.
Doomscrolling makes you feel like you’re taking an active part in world events, but it’s actually conditioning you towards slack-jawed, slouched-in-your-chair passivity. It makes you lazy, a bystander as world events waterfall down your screen all day long. I have no desire to give Vlad Putin the benefit of even that small victory.
Hang in there Ukraine, and here’s hoping all of us can use our mental and physical energy for more than mindlessly scrolling our way through these dark days.
Patrick Reynolds // Kenzai Founder
